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[02 Jan 2019|09:29pm] |
 You know another class I took at Harvard? Business Ethics. I don't steal other people's mother fucking clients, but in your case I'm going to make an exception. I'm going to take everyone; your B-level sitcom stars, your reality-TV writers, when I'm done with you, you're gonna be repping sideshow freaks. You need Jo-Jo the Dog-Face-Bitch-Boy? Call Josh Weinfuck, the lightweight pen-stealing fuckface. |
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[17 Apr 2010|01:16pm] |
I think at this point it's pretty safe to say, I'm not much of a blogger. It's too much like a diary and diaries are for nancy boys. I would've forgotten the password to this had it not been for Astrid aka my hired second brain.
Anyway, the point of this is to clear up a rumor I recently read in a magazine:
I do not nor have I ever represented Heidi Montag. Or that pants on the ground guy.
Us Weekly, bunch of fucking twits. Who told you that ? Was it Gina Ames? Gina you're toast.
Also attention clients w/children ( this means you now Althea ) wanna be on Yo Gabba Gabba? Trust me -- everybody's doing it.
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[13 Mar 2009|09:53pm] |
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I haven't updated this thing in ages. But before anyone complains you should be thrilled I don't have the time. Deals don't make themselves. I can't possibly seriously negotiate a contract for any of my clients if I'm worried about whose left me a comment on my little girly blog. Nor do I have the time to tweet -- fuck me that's an annoying term. Tweet ? Really ? My step-daughter is obsessed with the bloody site. Walks around all day, tweeting. Don't get me wrong, I think it's a great marketing strategy. I want all my clients to have one. It's immediate interaction with their fans and constant self promotion without looking desperate. Keeps the name in the public, take some control back from those gossip sites. Perez, the fat fuck.
Anyway, did I mention I've been terribly busy ? So have Joey and Samantha, by the way. They've had babies. I swear it must be something in the water around here. Which is why I never drink it. Can't stand the stuff. I don't much care about being healthy. I just like being rich. I don't think that makes me shallow at all. If anything, it makes me more American.
Speaking of which, Idol's come calling. They want book Dylan and Kylie for later on in the season. Even if they don't have their new projects ready by then it'd be a good idea. But really, it's up to the girls. I'd say they don't really need the exposure, but then everyone needs exposure. Even the over-exposed. Don't worry if that didn't make sense to you. It made sense to me and that's all that counts. |
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[17 Jan 2009|02:55pm] |
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You can tell when something is going to be really bad. As a talent representative, you should be able to sniff it out a mile away. Whether it be a movie script or a idea for a duet between two artists of different genre's -- cause everyone's looking to recreate that RUN DMC / Areosmith magic. It all smells the same. Like identical piles of horse shit. I'm not doing my job if I read a script for Catwoman part II : Revenge of the pussy and pass it along to one of my clients. There never should've been a Catwoman movie to begin with. I'm not saying you don't occasionally recommend a dud because it happens. Not every movie can be a Blockbuster and not every record goes platinum three times over. But it is my job to avoid the really big obvious disasters.
The same apparently can't be said for Renée Zellweger agent. Rumor has it Rene contacted one of our very own here at UAA to take over. I've got my hands full at the moment but anyone here would be a good match , I'm sure. Have you seen promo's for her new flick ? If so then you really can't blame her.
The holiday's are over, thank God. Mine were dreadful. Richard's family flew in to stay with us. Something he failed to mention to me until the day before. He said he hoped it was ok. I fucking avoid my family like the fucking bubonic plague, what in fuck's sake would make him think I'd want to spend time with his ? Especially since we're still doing this whole " are we " " aren't we " dance. I never can tell if the divorce is still on or not and neither of us has bothered to clear up the confusion. It was beyond awkward and I would've much rather been on a yacht somewhere in the Mediterranean. Truth be told I would've much rather had my eyelids ripped off.
Yes, Astrid, it was that just that bad.
I've got a meeting in two minutes. Chao. |
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